Parenting, HR Development, and Personal Growth

Unforgettable TV Commercial

More than 10 years ago, there was the credit card TV commercial that’s still crystal clear in my memory. The scene is a father in his late 40s or early 50s, camping by the lake with his young daughter, who’s probably in elementary school. As they sit around a campfire at dusk, they have this conversation:

Dad: "So, Rina, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Daughter: "I want to be an architect, just like you… because it’s so cool!"

Dad: "Oh, really?" (Smiles)

Daughter: "So, what’s your dream, Dad?"

Dad: "Uh… well, I mean…" (Looking confused)

[Dad pauses, thinks for a while, then smiles] "My dream, huh…? Alright!"

It was only a 30-second commercial, but it was so heartwarming that I still think about it from time to time.

The Joy and Lessons of Parenting

I have two sons—one’s already an adult, and the other’s still in college. Looking back, I can’t say I ever felt parenting was a struggle. I feel so grateful to have had such a fun and fulfilling experience raising them. Honestly, I’d do it all over again if I could (though my wife often scolds me for saying that so casually). Sure, there were plenty of mistakes and troubles along the way, but those moments were also the perfect training grounds for me to grow.

Now, what I’m about to share is based on my own family experience, so it might not apply to everyone. And just to be clear, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

Learning From the Resilience of Kids

One of the biggest things I learned from raising my kids is that kids are incredibly strong. In some ways, they’re even tougher than adults. When something bad or sad happens, they usually bounce back the next day like nothing ever happened. It’s like, "Wait, were you even sad yesterday?" Meanwhile, I’d still be sulking over a failed work project or a bad social interaction for days, even years sometimes.

These days, the word "resilience" gets thrown around a lot. It’s supposed to be this complex idea about how to "adapt and recover from difficulties," but honestly, it just means being stubborn enough to keep moving forward. My sons taught me that resilience.

One thing that keeps us connected is karate. We still practice together. They can stay focused on something they care about for hours, days, even years. Watching them, I feel like their persistence and toughness have rubbed off on me. Their determination and willingness to keep at it without giving up taught me so much.

The Importance of Personal Growth

What I really want to say through all this is not "I want to make my kids stronger." No, it’s more like, "I want to keep growing stronger myself." I gave up on the idea of "making" them strong ages ago. I try to provide opportunities and chances for them to grow, but whether or not they become strong is entirely up to them.

Trying to control them is impossible. They’re their own people, with their own personalities, and I need to respect that. My focus is really on myself—how I can keep growing stronger. And in turn, I think my growth helps them grow too. We’re both pushing each other forward and it’s an ongoing process.

This applies to business as well. Instead of managers trying to "make" their team members stronger, it’s about the managers themselves learning, growing, and improving. That kind of energy naturally inspires the team to grow, too.

Kids and Independence

Kids are scarily good at noticing their parents’ weaknesses. You can’t hide anything from them. And sometimes, my own strengths and weaknesses are painfully clear to my sons. It’s like they hold up a mirror to me. When I hear them saying the same petty complaints to my wife that I do, it’s a real wake-up call. Home is such a good place to learn both the good and the bad, and honestly, the same applies to the workplace.

Your team members know you better than you think. You can’t fake it with them. If you’re not proactive or if you lack decisiveness, it’s unrealistic to expect your team to act independently. It just doesn’t work that way. What really matters is that leaders keep working on themselves and focus on their own growth.

Kids’ Autonomy and Parents’ Role

I always wish for my sons’ happiness, but I also think it’s okay for them to fail. It’s part of growing up—learning through failure, understanding other people’s pain, and getting stronger because of it. Sure, kids need some guidance, a roadmap of sorts. But being overly protective or constantly interfering just ends up hurting them.

When parents overprotect or micromanage, kids start to think they’re weak or that they need to be protected. And if parents keep butting in, kids end up scared to take risks. That just leads to frustration, anger, and eventually a miserable lack of confidence. How is that supposed to make them happy? All we can do as parents is wish them happiness, keep an eye on them from a distance, and trust in them.

And you know what? The same goes for the workplace. You’ve got to avoid being overprotective or overbearing. Trust your team and support their success.

Dreams and Challenges

There’s this phrase in English: "Mind your own business." It basically means, "Focus on your own stuff." And yeah, it can also be like, "None of your business!" But when it comes to my kids’ lives, it’s true. Their lives aren’t mine. I’m not gonna push my happiness or future onto them. That’d be miserable for them.

So, my focus is on me. "I mind my own business." I do what I need to do. I find what excites me, I work hard at it, and I keep going. That’s what makes me happy. And I believe that if I live that way, it’ll somehow inspire my kids and make them happier, too. And hey, the same goes for work—when leaders are truly working on themselves and pushing their limits, their teams will naturally respond.

Just like that commercial where the girl asks, "What’s your dream, Dad?" it’s a question that always motivates me. Age doesn’t matter. Telling yourself it’s "too late" or "I’m too old" is just nonsense. Age is just a number.

So, let me ask you this: What’s your dream? And are you learning and working toward it every day?